Morbidity

As I'm painting, I realize how I'm never going to be good enough. Ever. It's kind of a strange feeling. It leads me to think that perhaps I shouldn't paint. If I don't paint, and I don't think those things, I may live a longer life. I wonder why these thoughts pop into my head suddenly. I enjoy painting though, but I wonder if it has to always be dark for me. I wonder why I'm never good enough.